Divorcing your spouse is not divorcing your role as a parent. In fact, both parents are encouraged by research psychologists to take a pro-active role in their kid’s lives despite the changes brought on by divorce. In most cases, children benefit from both parents contributions. Each parent has a unique ability to influence the emotional well-being of their children.
One way you can ensure your children are still the center of your world is through adapting a thoughtful and creative parenting plan. Parenting plans are either implemented through a standard court-approved agreement or developed by parents.
Finding common ground
Most divorced parents would agree that they love their children and want the best for them. The best way to display your mutual love is to find common ground. Unlike divorces that use the children as weapons to hurt the other parent, finding common ground is foundational to building a healthy parenting plan. For example, common ground may be deciding that you both value the quality of your child’s education. When this is determined, you may choose to work out arrangements that will support this shared value. You might arrange pick-up and drop-off schedules that support tutoring or private school.
To be genuinely thoughtful and creative in parenting plans, you need to remove selfishness from the equation. Self-interest will only preserve your insecurities and ego from impact at the expense of what is truly best for your child. After establishing common ground, you can work out creative ways to maintain the values you had as a family. For example, perhaps you want to continue to inspire your child to recycle and respect the environment. You can creatively plan a special event on “Earth Day” as part of your parenting plan.
Help for parenting plans and execution
If you and the other parent are having difficulty finding common ground, you might consider a legal mediator. A mediator can be a lawyer who acts as a neutral third-party to any disputes. The goal is to find a resolution while upholding the best interests of the child. The time you have to influence the growth and trajectory of your children is limited. By establishing a well thought-out parenting plan, you help ensure your time with your child is entirely well spent.
What values do you still share with the other parent that you’d like to pass onto your children?